Big brother book, big sister book: preparing for a new baby

This guide is for parents of children aged roughly 3 to 8 who are about to become a big brother or big sister. It covers when to tell them, what to say, what jealousy can look like, how to keep time just for the two of you, and how a story with their own name in it can help.

When to tell a toddler about the new baby, and what to say

There is no perfect moment, but young children have a wobbly sense of time. Nine months is forever to a three-year-old. Many parents wait until the bump is showing, or until other people start talking about it, so that the child hears the news from them first.

Link the date to something they understand: “The baby will come when it is warm again”, or “after your birthday”. For older children, a calendar on the fridge helps.

• Be honest about what babies are like. They cry, they sleep a lot, and they cannot play yet. A child who expects a playmate may be disappointed by a bundle that does nothing.
• Talk about what will not change: “I will still read you a story at bedtime. You will always be my big girl.”
• Give them a real role, sized for their age: choosing a babygro, singing a song to the bump, picking a toy to show the baby.
• Let them ask the same question many times. Repetition is how small children make sense of big news.

Jealousy is normal: what it can look like

Even the most excited big sister can find the reality hard. Jealousy is a normal feeling, not a sign that something is wrong, and it does not always look like jealousy.

• Going back to “baby” habits: wanting a bottle, talking in a baby voice, asking to be carried.
• More tantrums, or more clinginess, especially at bedtime.
• Being a little too rough with the baby, or ignoring them completely.
• Saying out loud what many children think: “Can we send it back now?”

The most helpful response is usually to name the feeling without judging it: “It is hard to share us sometimes. You can tell me when you feel cross, and I will still love you just as much.” Our article on emotions and stories has more ideas for helping children put words to what they feel. If something about your child’s behaviour or sleep worries you, your doctor or health visitor is the right person to ask.

See how a gentle, reassuring story reads, page by page

Keeping time just for the two of you

Newborns take a lot of arms and a lot of hours. What older children often miss most is not attention in general, but the moments that used to be theirs. Protecting even one of them makes a difference.

• Keep the bedtime story, even if it has to be shorter, and even if the other parent or a grandparent reads it some nights.
• Plan ten minutes a day of “just us” time while the baby sleeps: a puzzle, a drawing, a chat in the bath.
• Give them a little job that only the big one does, like choosing the baby’s socks or singing the goodnight song.
• When visitors arrive, ask them to say hello to the older child first.

A small ritual helps too: a secret handshake just for the two of you, or a “big kid” breakfast on Saturdays.

Why a big brother book helps a toddler

Stories are a safe place to rehearse. A child who hears about a hero who looks after a smaller friend, feels left out for a moment, then finds their place again, is practising the feelings they are about to meet.

Reading also gives you an easy way into the conversation. You do not need to ask “Are you jealous of the baby?” You can ask “How do you think the bear felt when nobody listened to him?” and let the answer come in its own time.

A big brother book for a toddler should be short, warm and a little repetitive. For older children, from six to eight, a story with more adventure and a hero who solves a real problem works better.

Making a big sister or big brother book with their name in it

AI-Koma Kids does not have a ready-made “new baby” story, and there is no baby world to choose. What you can make is a book where the hero your older child picks lives an adventure of courage and tenderness, with your child’s first name in the text. The narrator speaks to them, or the hero thinks of them when it matters most. A combination that works well:

• An adventure: a rescue mission, helping a small friend in trouble, or building together, making something as a team.
• A mood: soft and reassuring.
• A learning theme: Feelings, so the story names joy, sadness, anger and fear.
• A value: patience, sharing or helping each other.
• A hero they love, such as the gentle bear who always finds the courage to help his friends, the unicorn whose horn glows when someone needs help, or the little dinosaur with a very big heart, plus up to two companions.

The child is never drawn: they choose the hero who will be brave for them. If they have a cuddly toy they adore, you can photograph the toy and it becomes a companion in the book. The book is ready in a few minutes, can be read on a tablet or printed as a PDF, and makes a lovely present for the older child on the day the baby comes home.

Make a big brother or big sister book with their name in it

In the busy first months, a new little adventure every few weeks reminds the big one that they still have a story of their own.

See the monthly plans, from 5 books for €5.99